Beauty needs pain

All these while I thought trying to get rid of black heads on my nose is the painful thing ever but now I know that it is nothing comparing to the pain Im experiencing now. So a month ago I went for a visit to the dentist for a dental check-up. Way back when I was in form 5, I was supposed to wear braces but yada yada yada I didn’t. So during my visit to the dentist last month, the dentist went on and on, on how my teeth would be prettier if I were to wear a retainer. Well the first choice was braces but considering the fact that I am short of one tooth (so weird, I know) there would be too many spaces between my teeth and it would be too painful hence, we resolved to the second option which was a retainer. I actually thought that it would be cool *face palm* and the thought that I can take off my retainer whenever I want does not seem that painful to me. Well why did no one ever warn me *insert upside down smiling emoji*

I had to go through what others have to do on getting braces – Moulding. Moulding my lower teeth was fine that I said to myself this is not as bad as how they said it would be but didn’t I spoke too soon *face palm again*. When it comes to moulding my upper teeth, I was soooooo close to vomiting. You feel like your mouth is so full and that the mould were just a few millimetres away from your throat. That choking feeling made me wanna throw up but I stayed cool and the dentist made me sit up straight so I won’t be making a pool of vomit in her room *ew*

So fast forward to a month later which was yesterday – The day I finally wore a retainer wuhuuuu (my first impression guys -__-). The fitting session was okay, it was not painful but it does felt weird. The dentist said that I would be experiencing so much drooling and will constantly feel like throwing up and I was like er why didn’t you tell me this earlier? And yup it started right that instance. I kept going to the sink and asking for towels because all of the sudden my saliva is producing like Niagara falls (disgusting I know). I could not even talk properly.

Since it’s the holy month of Ramadan, I would go to the mosque to perform my tarawih prayers. Oh God it was so torturing. My mouth is constantly filled with drool and honestly there was only two options: 1. Spit it out or 2. Suck it in. Well obviously how can I spit my saliva while I was praying???? Nope that’s not the worst part yet. This morning when I woke up for Sahur I took my retainer off in hoping that I can enjoy my meal peacefully. The moment I took it off, it was as though my teeth are mad at me for caging them with this steel bar and making their revenge on me by emitting pain all over my teeth. It was so painful that all I did was stare at my empty plate. I ended up only drinking a cup of milo and mama made me some quaker oat with milk :’) I made myself some mashed potato for break fast today while other’s are enjoying some homemade Nasi Lemak :’)

I was not given any proper storage case to store my retainer so I used mama’s small tuppaware and store it during Sahur. Praying and reciting the quran is kinda difficult as I can’t really pronounce the ayat correctly hence I decided to wear it back after my Subuh prayers. Here’s the best part. Few moments after I wore my retainer back, it suddenly felt weird. It felt very pedas (spicy) as though I just ate some chillis. I went to sniff the tuppaware I used and not to my surprise it smelled like sambal (a spicy paste) -____-“ It was obviously my mistake for not cleaning the tuppaware before using it and now I learned my lesson. Thank God the drooling is less today and I don’t feel like throwing up anymore but the pain remains.

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Exams and disappointments

As expected, my semester two results was disappointing. I failed to meet my sponsor’s requirement for the second time *sigh*. In high school, I really do think with that much effort, I can at least achieve my target but now, well let’s just say it is so much harder than I thought. I’m writing this as a self reminder that I always need to give a hundred per cent effort in everything I do. I have to admit that sometimes I feel tired or bored of studying. I always assume that what I studied is already enough to answer those papers but now I realised that my effort it is not even close to ‘enough’. I’m actually bored of studying for my test right now that I’m writing this in hoping that I could give myself some motivation. Haih, when will this lazy sickness ever leave me?

You know the feeling of watching your friends receive better results than you and have that kind of jealously? I have to admit I feel that all the time and that’s bad. I mean you should be supportive of your friends rather than be bitter about it right? So my Ramadan resolution this year is to clear my heart from negativity. This jealously is seriously toxic to ones heart. Sometimes it can made you feel as though you are better than someone else. It’s really bad and I don’t want it to consume my heart anymore. Rather than feeling bitter or even jealous, I should work harder to improve myself right?

So here, I am going to put on a list on what I should do for my final semester

1. To study every day and do more exercises.

2. Complete my homework on the same day (NO MORE DELAYING!)

3.NO SLEEPING IN THE EVENING! Girl, you know that sleeping after Asar is not good. You have to stop that habit, seriously.

4. Pray on time, recite the quran more often and do more sunnah prayers.

5. No sleeping in on weekends. Ugh this is the hardest part guys -____-

I’ll keep the list to just five for now. To be able to achieve all that is an achievement already! But most importantly, I always need to remember to check my intention every day (betulkan niat). Whatever we do in this world, we have to do it for the sake of Him. Lillahitaala. And He will do the rest. So yeah, I certainly need to remember that.

And lastly, I have this one ayat from surah Ar-Rahman which  would always remind me why I should not give up

فَبِأَيِّ آلَاءِ رَبِّكُمَا تُكَذِّبَانِ

“So which of the favors of your Lord would you deny?”

He already granted me a scholarship to study overseas, what more can I wish for? Is that not enough for me to study and get good results? Sometimes we forgot of all the rezeki we have and took it for granted. Girl, you received all that you wished for, all that is left for you to do now is to study. Getting bored of studying should never be your excuse ever again.

Pray for me guys!

Hafizah <3

Today marks an important day of my life. Never have I thought that a friend of mine could have gone so soon. And to be honest, I cannot really believe it happened. It was too fast and it took me a while to digest everything. I guess that’s the thing with life and death, it is never predictable and we cannot see what’s coming. But I believe that the ones we love never truly leave us, they are always here, in our hearts.

You’re someone who sprinkles happiness to everyone around you so they too can taste the sweetness of joy. Even for someone who only gets to know you just for a day can feel the magic you spread. And even with you gone, you still have that magic touch with you because every single time you cross someone’s mind, they will always remember how you made them happy. That’s how beautiful you are Fiza. I wish I could have said this sooner but that’s the thing with us humans, sometimes, we say things when it is already far too late.

 You reminded us to always cherish the people around us, to always care for the ones we love and most importantly, you brought us together.

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Today was the last time I saw your face and kiss you goodbye. May Allah bless you. Always in our hearts and prayers, Nur Hafizah binti Mohd Faisol.

Al fatihah

It’s Ramadan!

For Muslims, Ramadan is a month where we’ll have to fast. Fasting in the month of Ramadan is one of the five pillars of Islam. This year, I had the chance to fast for a whole week at home! Being the fact that I spend my high school years in a boarding school, I usually spend my first Ramadan there. It was actually quite fun you know, spending Ramadan there but I remembered crying once when I was form one as soon as I heard the Azan for breaking fast because I missed home (I was homesick and I was form one….that’s normal right?). I still miss fasting back in my high school. We have to sit in our house table and I’ll always sit next to my penolong ketua rumah. I remember how much she loves drumstick that I’ll make sure I’ll get one just to make her jealous.

Since I got to spend the first week of Ramadan at home, I’m currently sewing some children praying mats for my customers from Australia! (Im going international guys!) Well nah, those are just requests from my sister’s friends. Since I’ll get paid in AUD how can I say no? I love sewing anyway but I also love the money I got from it hehe.

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I still have a few more orders to fulfill and even Mama is requesting one! (Hm I wonder how much should I charge her…)

Well have a great month ahead guys!

I finally got sorted!

I finally made a Pottermore account! I never wanted to make one because I’m scared of not being sorted into the house I wanted to. I wanted to be Gryffindor because duh all the best characters are from there but I also wanted to be Slytherin just for the sake of being in the same house as Draco but then it turns out that I’m a Hufflepuff! And guess what, I actually love it! After re-reading the Harry Potter series, I’m really glad that I’m a Hufflepuff.

“While the other founders chose to have special students, Hufflepuff accepted them all, but the students of her house are described as loyal and hard-working.”

Ain’t that beautiful? To be accepting people whoever they are. Hufflepuff accepts everyone with no discriminations at all and I think that it is just lovely. One of my subject in college was Research Project and my topic revolves around Rohingyas (will talk more about my RP later), and it just came to me that wouldn’t it be wonderful if the whole world are Hufflepuffs? Everyone accepts one another no matter who they are and where they come from, what skin colour they have, what race they are or even their religion. The world will certainly be a better place if that happens.

And that is why I’m proud to be a Hufflepuff.

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One more week!

There’s only one more week left for the sem break which means……

RESULTS ARE COMING!

At first I thought I did quite well for my papers but then I realised that every time I thought it was ‘okay’ it will totally turns out to be the other way around. Oh god please let me at least pass my sponsor’s requirement please please pleaseeeee. I certainly do not want to get another letter…………………………….

Man, life was much easier back in high school. To those of you who are thinking of doing SACE, I wish you the best of luck and may you survive the journey.

Sincerely, a barely surviving SACE student.

An unforgettable event

You know what, I suck at giving titles. I even have a hard time deciding captions for my instagram photos what more a blog post title? That is probably the lamest title ever but I couldn’t think of anything else. Plus, no one reads this anyway so I guess that would do just fine.

So, the so-called-unforgettable event was on September 30, 2015. Im not planning to go on details of the event but I would love to share what I learnt from it. So on that tragic evening, I carelessly lost my phone (I actually dropped my phone on the stairs on the way to a shop…so careless of me I know). I was back in my hostel room when I realised my phone was missing and I borrowed S’s phone (oh ya ill be using alphabets to address my friends so lets hope ill have enough letters to mention them here) and search for my phone using the ‘find my iPhone’ on iPhones.

I was actually on the verge of crying because how in the world would I be able to track down my phone. I mean it could be anywhere right and it seems waaay impossible. I was about to give up (without even trying) when E reassured me that there’s still hope and not to give up just yet. She probably didn’t know that if she didn’t say that I would probably just cry all through the night. So M, being the toughest among us, went with me to search for my phone and D drove the car. D drove like super crazy fast she could be a car racer and M was undoubtedly brave (i felt like i was in a movie guys). These two girls were so tough that my toughness is not even half of what they are. Really, major respects to these two girls.

The phone was last found online in a house and obviously me being me, I did not want to enter the house (although the gate and doors were wide open) because who knows who lives in there right? I suggested to M to ask a boy to go with us, you know just in case anything happen but M was all, nope we don’t need a boy and plus we’re running out of time. M just walked inside as if nothing will ever hurt her. Luckily, the person inside was a woman and her mother. I did the talking and luck was really on my side as after a few minutes of talking, the woman finally said that her son and his friend came home a few moments before I came with a stolen iPhone.

To cut it short, her son came back home about an hour later and returned my phone to me (but he formatted my phone, threw my sim card away and even took a selfie with it already!)Well, I couldn’t wish for more. To be able to have my phone back in my hands was something I did not dream of earlier that evening. While waiting for the son and his mother, I sat at the living room with the grandmother and we talked. I was really sad when she told me she had cancer (told ya it was like the movies) and her daughter was late to work at a KFC nearby. Her daughter work night shifts to earn extra money to support the family. She was really upset with what had happened because she told me that even though their family was not that well-off, she never told her children and grandchildren to steal. And I totally agree with that, we should never steal no matter how desperate we are. I know desperate times call for desperate measures but stealing is never the answer. Plus, stealing an iPhone was not a desperate measure guys, it is just the act of wanting to own something you don’t have.

So here’s some tips I would like to share:

1. Never delete your passcode (I deleted it because I thought it was a hassle….)

2. ALWAYS TURN ON YOUR FIND MY IPHONE

3. Put your phone in your bag or pocket! (And now…approximately one year later I still like to hold my phone rather than keeping it in my bag….looks like I haven’t learn the lesson after all…*facepalm*)

At the end of the day, I thanked Allah for everything that happened. I thanked Him for the lessons he gave me and most importantly I thanked Him for such wonderful friends. I am really blessed that I have indeed found friends who would be there come high or hell water. Loves to M, for making me brave, D, for the fearless yet safe driving, E, for telling me not to give up and also S, for lending me your phone. I owe you guys big time.